things to note (from my old personal blog)

My computer froze

My computer sucks. I've tried to figure out what's wrong with it, but the best I've come up with is something is wrong with "the controller". See, for one minute at a time - always exactly one minute, 60 seconds - my computer will hang. I can still do RAM stuff, and my internet connection works, so, I can chat in a chat room for example, or continue to play a video game to a point. The problem is my computer utterly refuses to contact my hard drive. As such nothing new can load. This impacts internet browsing the most, new tabs refuse to open, pages refuse to load. When it starts the only thing I can do is wait. I know it's over because I suddenly hear my hard drive loading something, and pouf, the problem is solved, and any tabs I've tried to open load their content. This happens often while I'm watching a video, or playing a game, in the second monitor. This tells me it's somehow related to playing video, or using the GPU, but I've tried removing my graphics card and this still will happen. I've also tried being offline (and removing the card, and keeping the card in) and again, this still happens. Mortvert suggested my wire to my hard drive may be faulty, or the controller is faulty, and I'm leaning towards the latter; but I have no idea what a controller is. Either way. If I've sent you here because my computer froze its because I want you to know that this is what happens every time I say it froze, and that there is nothing I can do to speed it up, and that it will happen again, many times, in the future.



I'm Eating

Some people may have 3 or 4 hands, but I only have two. When I'm eating, I tend to use both these hands. I don't really eat one-handed food, and it's very very rare that I'll eat soup, or something else that I can just leave lying in the bowl/plate/whatever. As such, when I'm eating, I have both hands on the food. Add to this the fact that my entire apartment is the size of two jail cells. I don't have space for a kitchen table, and my computer desk is very small. So small in fact that I am unable to eat anything without moving my keyboard, as it otherwise takes up too much space in front of me. This means that I literally place my keyboard on top of my desktop case. I can still reach it to type if I have to, but I'm EATING! This is VERY inconvenient for me to type, and, get this, I WANT TO FINISH EATING MY FOOD!! I've had a few people be very insistent that I type to them while eating. This ain't gonna happen. "Don't bug me when I'm eating" is pretty much the first rule that roommates learn about me. If I've sent you here because I'm eating it means I want you to just hold your fucking horses and let me finish eating before I do whatever the hell it is you want from me.



Lying Down

I always feel strange, as though I'm the only person who does this, but I can't be. Sometimes, I get a bit tired. Not sleepy tired, just I need a break from the day tired. As such, I will go to my bed, and lie down. I won't turn down the lights, and I have no intention of going to sleep, I just need to physically lie down for maybe 2 minutes, 5, minutes 15 minutes. I just lie there, relaxing. I don't nap. I just need to literally lie down for a bit. Sometimes my allergies will dictate this, as lying down helps them not bother me so much. Either way, if I've sent you here because if this it means I was, or am about to lie down, and want to explain that no, I don't mean napping or sleeping, I do literally mean, I was physically lying down, that it will only take a few minutes, and that I come back after. The only exception to this is if I'm actually sleepy tired, in which case, I stop lying down, turn down the lights, go to the washroom, put in my earplugs, and go to sleep.

Ontario projection

Math based projection from the 4 most recent polls:

62 - PC
33 - LIB
28 - NDP
1 - GRN

62 seats for the Tories and 62 for the other parties combined.

26DEC2017

Afternoon:
Recovering from hangover

Evening:
Played Stellaris, joked around in chat,

Night:
Sleep

Morning:
woke near 7. had coffee. very tired. played stellaris.

Afternoon:
post

Stressors:
have to do cmhoc work tomorrow. anxious about it being stressful. worried that arguments will begin again. concerned about sim stability.

Other:
need to take out trash

Future:

work on sim tomorrow

diary

I should start keeping a diary listing the activities I do.

I think a good basic framework is this -

---

Morning:


Afternoon:


Evening:


Night:


Morning:


Afternoon:


Evening:


Night:


Stressors:


Other:


Future:


--

Food

Every few months this discussion comes up. I'm sick and tired of having it with different people. It happened today. It happened a year ago with Chris. Two years ago with Darryl. Three years ago with ... actually it does not matter. What does matter is I'm sick and tired of explaining myself over and over, so, lets go over this for one last time for the record.

1 - The food I eat is tasty. I dont care if you don't think it tastes good. It does to me and that's all that matters.

2 - I have enough problems to deal with. Worrying about my "health" is very low on the list. I'd like to deal with the autism-related problems that prevent me from having a job, with the lingering depression that causes suicidal thoughts every now and then even years after I beat depression, with my inability to properly budget.

3 - I don't care that you care about my health. I don't want to hear it.

4 - I am not interested in doing food prep. Preparing the food I eat already takes too long.

5 - I don't care if I already do food prep. I am not interested in doing any more; the only reason I currently do food prep is that I've not found a way to cut it out.

6 - Food is designed for one thing. To make the hunger stop.

7 - The difference between food that is edible and food that is yummy is much smaller than you seem to think.

8 - I'm not interested in your suggestion for a new food, I am a very picky eater, and I'm not interested in changing.

9 - I don't care that you don't care that I dont care. I am not interested in your lack of interest in my not being interested. I AM NOT CHANGING THE WAY I EAT.

10 - This is not for discussion.